Flag on the Play… Pass Interference.

I remember sitting in the chiropractor’s office when I first saw it.  The quote that would offer up one of those “aha moments” that opens all energetic windows.

“Nature needs no help, just no interference”.  

Thank you to American Chiropractor, B.J. Palmer, who originally authored it. The sentiment of the quote is that nature’s natural state is one of balance. There is innate wisdom within designed to nurture its unfolding rhythm, seasons, cycles and circles.  Nature has no driven agenda to conquer or keep; it just flows.  

Until it doesn’t.  For all kinds of human reasons.

I remember that day.  In the chiropractor’s office, with my loved one who wasn’t doing so well mentally, emotionally or physically.  How I buckled down, rolled up my sleeves and was driving the bus, white-knuckled and pedal to the metal. In addition to chiropractic care, I had a long list of shoulds, coulds and woulds that I was going to guide them to do in order to get them back to wellbeing.  

For all kinds of human reasons.  

I loved them, I was scared of losing the version of them that I knew. I felt primarily responsible for their desired outcome and I didn’t want to see them hurting. Probably a few more reasons are tucked away, out of the range of my memory.

That driven energy, as well intended as it was, landed like a pass interference. Contracted space instead of holding it and spun my loved one even more.  My fight/flight reactivity and their repelled spin is so incredibly human when we don’t know what is next, or we feel threatened.

My loved one began to thrive when I relinquished control and began to nurture their nature.  Provided options, helped them foster a sense of choice and bolstered their capacity to choose.  Attended to my own fears outside their immediate experience.

They became co-collaborators in their own experience.  Their own unfolding. They were finding their flow.  I consistently framed it for them by asking if wellness was their goal, what steps could they take to support that goal…with a few non-negotiables included.

They got well.  On their own time, in their own way.  With me at times loving them in a parallel line, and other times with me nose-to-nose. 

It is not lost on me that not all dynamics are as poetic as the highlight reel.  Be gentle with yourself along the way during your behind the scenes.

Where in your life can you surrender; offer up?  Perhaps a shift from a conquering quest to a collaborative dynamic? Who or what can bolster your capacity to choose?

May you be well resourced in all of your unfolding rhythm, seasons, cycles and circles.

Reach out if you are curious about any of Bolster's offerings in this regard.